Day 9 - April 19

This won't be long because I am very tired and Colby has such a way with words. I am so apprecitive of all of the help that has been showered on my family and the love and prayers of so many. I asked the doctor today about how long the pain would last and he said probably 4-6 weeks. This is a hard pill to swallow because I am in a lot of pain. I keep asking what could I have done differently, and if my crystal ball would have been working there are many things I would have changed. But at this point I just need to know what I need to learn from this. I am trying to not swear as my body just cannot pull itself out of the chair on to my walker. I can't put any weight on one of feet so by the time I have figured out how to get out of the chair I am mentally exhaused and taking 75 minutes in the bathroom is a joy all it's own. I got up early and got my bath (sponge bath that is) and Ali came up and combed my hair and took me to sacrament meeting in the hospital. It is a 30 minute meeting and I was 15 minutes late but they gave Ali and I the sacrament after the meeting. The talk was on adversity and how each of us will at some time need to go through adversity. It was a good talk, but I found as he was talking about joy and what things consitute joy for each of us I thought that the things we chase here on this earth really don't bring you joy; but Colby, Chad and family, Meg, Haley and family, Kara and family, Sammie and Kaysha and at that moment and always Ali (since she was sitting right next to me and had done so much for me) and her family (sorry that was a rambally sentence), these are the things that give me unbelievable joy. I tried to hold back the tears and just wanted to take her face and kiss it, but I also did not want to make a scene. It is wonderful to have so many friends, and have my family be up here and spend so much time with me. I thought how appropriate it is that people are my joys, because that is really one of the only things that I will be taking with me. Had my spirit left my body that night of the accident, I would have left my paychecks, my car, and any type of material possession behind . I know that God lives and he buoys us up. It is sometimes hard to keep that thought, which I guess becomes our challenge on this earth. It enables us to not sacrifice the "best" things in life for the good things in life. May you all drive carefully. My love to all of you.
Jan